The Beginning of an End

I don't really know where to begin, but I know I want to put something down into words about this.

Over the past few months, a lot of people I know and probably many more that I don't know have been asking and speculating about what has been happening with my personal life.

I don't care about the gossip mongers, but I do care about the friends and readers who sincerely wish me well and are genuinely concerned for me as a person.

I'd rather you all hear it straight from me than other uninvolved parties, so let this serve as closure.

We've officially separated.

The decision has been extremely hard to make, because it doesn't just impact two lives majorly, but also the many people around me like family and mutual friends...

I wish I could speak unrestrainedly about why our relationship broke down, but it probably isn't a good idea to do so.

All I can say is, I think we both tried to make our relationship work over the years, but there were too many fundamental issues that were swept under the rug over the years, and these seemingly little things eventually festered and grew into huge, painful sores that could never go away.

No matter what, please remember that you should always love yourself first, no matter what kind of a relationship you're in.

No one is perfect, that's for sure. But make sure you know what your deal breakers are, and what kind of shortcomings you want to deal with.

I saw a quote on IG the other day.

The quote was "You don't give up on someone you love."

I really wanted to agree with this quote. It sounded damn bloody romantic and oh-so-sweet.

But is it really really true?

I don't know la. For someone who's been in one relationship for 9 years, I'd say that there's a breaking point somewhere when it becomes irrevocably damaged.

I'm sorry that it didn't work out.

I'm especially sorry to my parents, to my dad who doesn't know how to break the news to relatives and acquaintances who are asking him "几时抱个孙子?"

To my in-laws who treated me so very well and were a second family to me.

And to the man I took my marriage vows with and whom I thought would be my forever.

I'm sorry that we didn't work out.

-

It's been almost three months since this happened, and now you know why I've been posting much lesser on social media the past few months.

I also took the opportunity to travel and do more of what I love, and spend more time with my dearest friends who have been such a constant source of support and love.

I'm blessed, really.

And now, I'll put myself first, love myself more.

I'm telling myself this: It's okay to fail in relationships and even a marriage.

A failed relationship or a divorce does not mean that you're a failure. Everyone deserves to be truly happy and to be loved in the right way.

PS. I won't be affected by hate comments and trolls because you anonymous keyboard warriors totally don't know anything at all and your absurd accusations are just laughable, so go ahead, say whatever you want :)

Thank you for reading, and for your virtual hugs and kisses. ❤️ I'm okay!

"Dear Yina, what camera do you use?" - Bangkok with the Olympus Pen-F

One of the most frequently asked questions I get over and over again is, "Dear Yina, what camera do you use?".

Taken with the Olympus Pen-F

I'm proud to say that I've been using Olympus cameras for the past SIX years! My Olympus cameras have taken 80% of all the photos on this blog, and have accompanied me on so many travels and important occasions of my life. I love photography and taking photos is a big part of what I do, both at work at TheVelvetDolls, and for my blog :)

When Olympus approached me to be their PEN Ambassador last year, I was overjoyed! Being an ambassador of a brand that I love, is an absolute joy and privilege.

Since I started using Olympus six years ago, I've used the Olympus E-P1, E-P3, E-PL5, OMD EM5ii and I've loved every single one. Each new Olympus camera just gets better and better! Now, the latest Olympus camera, Olympus Pen-F has just landed in Singapore (and in my hands) and I am looking forward to creating even more beautiful memories with this camera.

The design of the Olympus Pen-F is a throwback to the first Olympus Pen (a film camera) and looks gorgeously vintage and classic.

Features-wise, the Pen-F is like a major upgrade from the Pen series: It has all the functions I already love (such as wi-fi, a flip screen, touch focus) and even more! There is now a 20mp sensor for higher quality photos, and a cool Creative Dial that allows you to explore different shooting styles with art filters, monochrome profile, tweak individual color settings and more!!

I'm having a lot of fun playing with the Olympus Pen-F, and brought it to Bangkok with me during my Lunar New Year family trip. Below are some of the first few photos captured with the Olympus Pen-F, documenting my time in Bangkok!

Enjoy the photos ;)

My darling chihuahua, Baby, who's now in doggie heaven. I hope you're loving it up there, Phatty!

Our shaggy princess yorkie, QQ

At the airport: YZ with Zylia, our niece.

This is YZ's daddy!

Aboard SQ and ready to conquer the skies.

A moody shot with the Monochrome mode.

My airplane read!

Favourite fruit in Bangkok: Fresh, delicious and thirst-quenching coconuts!

A night shot of Bangkok outside Platinum Mall, taken in Monochrome mode.

View from my hotel room at Centre Point, Pratunam.

Hello! Dressed in TheVelvetDolls and having my first coconut of the day!

Street food vendors in the morning.

A happy and excited Zylia!

Fresh fruits by the street side.

Delicious mille crepe cake at After You cafe!

Their popular Ferrero Toast! Intensely chocolatey and sinful.

My favourite at After You: Shibuya Honey Toast with additional strawberries on the side!

I couldn't get enough of the delicious road-side salt-grilled fish! These were from Rod Fai market, but you can find them all around Bangkok. They are so insanely fresh and tasty!

A very hipster barber at Rod Fai market, loving the whole vibe of the place.

I brought my family to North-East Restaurant at Lumpini, where I previously dined at when I stayed at Sofitel So Bangkok right next door. It's my favourite eatery in Bangkok! Affordable and authentic Thai food :)

Bought a new phone case from a small shop at Siam Square too!

The next best thing to fresh coconut: Coconut ice cream! Got this outside Central World.

All photos above taken with the Olympus Pen-F! What can I say, it is an absolutely gorgeous camera both in terms of its sleek design as well as functions. Can't wait to play with this baby more, stay tuned for more photos from the Olympus Pen-F on this space soon!

Look for me on my other social media platforms here:

 Twitter   Instagram   Dayre    Youtube

Day 251: Editor's Pick! // 10 Things About Me

Dear Dayre,

“I'M EDITOR'S PICK! ”

On "being the girlfriend that we'd love to have"... Reaaaally?  Not at all lah! And although I'm sure YZ is very in love with me, he actually really hates how busy I am and how little time I have for him some times. So now that I have some new followers who don't really know who I am.. Hello! *waves* If you're wondering why my friends call me "Tuna Goh", it's really quite a stupid reason hahaha. 

Since we're at it, let me do a "20 facts about myself" and see what I can come up with!

“1. Yina is my real name (on my birth certificate) and it's not my mandarin name but my English name.”

My sisters are called Gina and Lina and for some reason I got stuck with the most unique one "Yina" which doesn't mean anything and it is a made up name. But I love my name and identify with it so much because it's fairly unique and I have a huge sense of belonging to my name. The reason why my friends like to call me Tuna Goh is because iPhone sometimes likes to autocorrect my name sometimes so when you type "Yina" it autocorrects to Tuna instead..  Now you know why.

“2. I was born with congenital ptosis and had an operation on my eye when I was 8.”

How I looked like as a kid (and got teased terribly for)

Years before plastic surgery even became popular, I got cosmetic surgery done on my eye due to a birth condition: I was born 2 months pre-mature and spent my first month in the hospital. It affected me a lot when I was a kid because of the stares and rude/hurting remarks I would get. I would cover my eye and look in the mirror feeling sad for myself. 

But I'm healthy and happy now!

“3. I used to be a professional illustrator/comic colorist.”

I worked as a comic colorist/painter for about two years at Imaginary Friends Studio and did a lot of coloring work for American comic companies like Top Cow, DC Comics and Penny Arcade. I also illustrated game cards for WoW (World of Warcraft and Warhammer 40k.

My avatar (the one you see on top of this page) is illustrated by me as well. I spent a huge part of my teenagerhood online on art forums and honing my drawing skills, which is also when I met @evonnz online 10 years ago! Keke

“4. I speak with a lisp.”

A lisp, also known as sigmatism, is a speech impediment in which a person cannot articulate sibilants ([s], [z], [ʒ], [ʃ], [tʃ], [dʒ]). These misarticulations often result in unclear speech.

I hate hearing myself on tape cos I think it sounds retarded. And my classmate once sneered at me and called me "Daffy Duck" and imitated my speech.  It got better as I grew older I think! And now it's less obvious but I still try to avoid pronouncing "s" when I speak. Especially when I meet new people.

“5. But I love to sing! ”

I occasionally do pop music gigs, and I'm a singer with the SYC Ensemble Singers (a semi-professional non-profit choir made up from passionate singers) & have been singing in SYC for 7 years and counting. I love all kinds of music and my entire family likes to sing! From my mother who was belting out A-Mei to me since I was a toddler to my two sisters who also enjoy singing.

I take classical voice lessons every Thursday & teach pop vocals before heading to choir rehearsals every Saturday. 

“6. Apart from music, I love animals! ”

When I was younger, my first ambition was to be a vet. But then I realised how much I needed to study and also I might need to cut up poor little animals and I decided to switch from being a vet to a zoo keeper. (Lol, so much for my lofty ambitions) 

I've owned countless pets from hamsters to rabbits to sugar gliders to dogs and my reward for getting a good PSLE score was a pair of hamsters in a luxurious 3-storey tall enclosure. 

I now have three adorable dogs and an entire aquarium at home!

“7. I am a bookworm ”

I loooove reading anything, from the back of cereal boxes to Wikipedia. I'm not picky about what I read usually, but I like fiction a lot and I enjoy fantasy genres! Usually the longer the book the happier I am because it gives me greater joy and a longer time to enjoy the world of the author and his characters. 

Harry Potter is a frequent re-read, and I read lots of random authors from Murakami to David Eddings. I like brainless chick lit too like Sophie Kinsella! Not fussy at all.

“8. I've been battling with weight loss since I was an overweight kid ”

That's me, the pink whale on the right. And although I successfully managed to lose about 10kg when I was 20 years old through prescription pills and a crazy diet/exercise routine, I find it extremely hard to keep myself slim and healthy. I LOVE to eat. Especially carbs, junk food and all things sinful.

My weight has been yoyo-ing back and forth in the 50s range and I really want to lose 5kg in time for my wedding. Currently I'm going for regular TCM sessions at Slim Couture to help with slimming.

“8. I'm getting married on January 1st 2015!”

To my partner of seven years, YZ. He's my first boyfriend and my first relationship was when I was 20. Super late bloomer hahaha. It's less than four months away to our wedding day and I'm starting to feel the stress... I'm not a bride-zilla and I'm not very fussed about the wedding but there's SO many things to do it's kind of overwhelming right now.

“9. I have bitchy resting face but I'm actually quite friendly really ”

Some people tell me that I look really fierce when they see me on the streets and all that but really I just have a very fierce looking face when I don't smile and I'm quite friendly actually! So if you ever see me at events or like on the streets or what.. Can say hi to me la I will say hi back! 

OKAY.... I give up.

I must be so uninteresting that I can only find ten things to say about myself, so let me present you with one last "about me" fact..

“10. My greatest ambition is to be 张惠妹's (A-Mei's) back-up vocalist!”

I know it sounds totally ridiculous.. But I would love love love to be Amei's back up vocalist hehehehe. I love her personality and her voice and her songs! I would much rather be her back up vocalist than be an artiste myself. Not that I'm even at that level teehee but that's why it's a dream right?

There you go! Now you know ten more things about me and I hope you'll enjoy more of my sharing along the way! 

xoxo

49 Going On 50 at Art Loft

Hello dear friends!

I suppose you must have already spotted my new blog header/illustration on my in-the-process-of-getting-revamped blog! :D Well, it's been a long time since I last updated the look of my little space, so I thought it was time for a change.

And yes, my illustration was doodled and done up by myself! :)

Here's a little short video with the step-by-step process from lines to colour, and I really love the new header!

This time, I decided to re-draw my old avatar in a new style that's a little quirkier and also more contemporary, but still keeping the same colourful illustrative style that I love. I tried to add in my favourite elements because she represents me and my blog, so you see the paper plane, musical notes, my chihuahua and myself holding a camera.

I love it! I don't know why, but I just don't think my face looks good as a blog header although it's very usual for many bloggers do that. Heh.

If you've been following my blog since its birth (like I don't know, five years ago?), you might remember that I used to be trained as and worked as an illustrator for a few years before I eventually left the industry and ventured into what I'm doing now, my own online business and yes blogging too. It has been AGES since I last drew or painted anything. But I still love it very much and I think I need to find more time to do this more often! I actually stayed up very late for a couple of nights just doodling and getting back my mojo before I came out with this new illustration for my blog.

And what spurred me on was an inspiring visit to Art Loft Asia's pop-up art show, 49 Going On 50!

Me and the girlfriends popped by Tiong Bahru for a quiet afternoon brunch at Forty Hands before we walked over to 82 Tiong Poh Road where the pop-up art show is (still) being held at, all the way until the 4th of September.

I really do like Tiong Bahru. It's such a quaint little 'hood and I love how it's a mix of the old and the new. Old buildings but cool new places like art galleries, cupcake shops (Plain Vanilla!) and awesome cafes! Quite the perfect location for an art show that's showcasing our local artists and celebrating Singapore's heritage, past, present and future. You can probably tell from the name of the show that it's also to celebrate Singapore turning 49 years old! I support national pride!

 

 

I love looking at artwork, naturally, having come from the creative industry. It was such a great experience to connect back with the local art scene at Art Loft! And I really appreciate that there's such a platform for our local talents to showcase their artwork. These art work can also be purchased too!

Okay, too cute! Kueh forming the words Art Loft hehehe.

Iconic Tiger Balm. If you're an 80's kid like I am, you definitely know what that is!

 

One of the things I enjoy at any show is watching the lively human interaction. It's great to see people genuinely interested in art!

And this is KY Huang himself, who is the artist of some of my favourite illustrations at the show! He was there personally as well as a few other artists! 

These "bar code zebras" are also Mr Huang's masterpieces! I love the concept, so brilliant!

 

Admiring the textures on all these "LAH"s. Lol. I choose to interpret it as Singapore's multi-racial and diverse society but with a common language.. Singlish!

More people having a good time at the show!

 

I was SALIVATING at the sight of these nonya kueh OMG.. Look at those gula melaka ondeh ondeh! Too bad I'm on a diet :(

 

And seeing this reminded me of Chilli Crab for some reason?! Must be too much dieting going to my head.

 

There was a live artist doing a demo during the event too (that was on Thursday) and upon closer examination, I realised that it was famed local artist Eeshaun!

I've known of and followed Eeshaun's artwork ever since my school days, so I was so pleasantly surprised to get this opportunity to speak to him personally and even watch him at work!

It's not easy to do art for a living in Singapore, and I speak from my own personal experience as a commercial artist. Which is why I truly admire all our local talents for having the tenacity and passion to keep on doing what they love: art!

Thanks for your time, Eeshaun! 

No one can disassociate Lee Kuan Yew from the words Singapore and heritage. Loved this Andy Warhol pop art style interpretation of our beloved Minister Mentor!

 

"Amazing Singapore" by Mr KY Huang. "A-Maze-Ing" Singapore.. Geddit geddit?? :D

I had a really delightful time at 49 Going on 50 at Art Loft and left feeling so inspired and appreciative of our local art scene!

Go on down to 49 Going on 50, it's still open til 4th September!

Located at: 

82 Tiong Poh Road, #01-21 

 Weekdays: 5pm to 8pm Weekends: 10.30AM to 6pm

All the art pieces on exhibition can also be purchased from Art Loft's website, you might wanna follow Art Loft on Facebook too, there's also more details about this event on their page!

***

Clad in my lovely new skirt upcoming on TheVelvetDolls!

If you can see the details of this skirt, it's actually a super gorgeous maxi length skirt but in a slightly sheer fabric with a special mesh hem that weighs down the skirt so it swings and flounces about in the most glamorous way!!And then it comes with shorts/skorts inside the slightly sheer fabric so when the skirt swings around as you walk you can see abit of leg 若隐若现  So sexy and stylish I damn love! Going on a skirt craze lately forgive me hahaha.

Under normal lighting it looks almost like a regular maxi skirt. But once you start walking and swishing your way around you're gonna feel like a goddess! :D Love it!

I promise to update more regularly now that I've dusted the cobwebs off this space so please come back and visit soon!

xoxo